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"Make It Safe" Chapter 5 Crucial Conversations Book Discussion Bussiness Tech Talks

Make It Safe how to make it safe to talk about almost anything.

Major Talking Points: 1) Teaching: What it Takes to Restore Safety 2) Apologize When Appropriate 3) CRIB


Segment One: Teaching What It Takes to Restore Safety: 
Step out of the content of the conversation. Start with heart. Confront specific issue. 

Pg 68 "The Best at Dialogue don't play games." no pretending or sugarcoating

-Find Mutual Purpose: Crucial Conversations experience problems when other person feels that you have Melicious or Evil Intent  - Mutual Purpose is when others perceive that we are working toward a common outcome "We believe they care about us." - Find shared goal - both have a good reason - makes for healthy climate for dialogue.
-Mutual purpose is not a technique - we must really care about the interests of others, not just own the purpose has to be truly beautiful

-Mutual respect: there's no reason to have a conversation if you don't have mutual purpose. - Can't stay in conversation without mutual respect. If people perceive disrespect, interaction no longer about the original purpose - it's now about defending dignity

How can you respect a person who appears to be selfishly motivated, perspective: "Help me forgive those who sin differently than I." Ways to respect others mutuality between yourselves

Segment Two: apologize for an appropriate apology statement expresses your sorrow for your role and cousin paler difficulty apology isn't my apology unless you experience a change of heart. Sincere apology your motives have to change a bit of ego by meeting your error. P sacrifice ability go when you give up something you value you were awarded with something even more valuable healthy dialogue and better results
-Contrast to fix misunderstanding address of problems start with a don't statement and then replace it with a do statement

Contrasting is on apologising a wave and sharing what we said didn't hurt me more than it should contrast and provides can't text and proportion and if you're tempted to water down your statement and say it wasn't really that big deal don't do it don't take that what you said just put things in context or prospective

Segment Three: CRIB  Commit to seek mutual purpose - Recognize the purpose behind strategy - Invent A Mutual Purpose - Brainstorm A New Strategy.
-Commit to new strategy: Agree to Agree

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