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TGJC Podcast Blog: "Wednesday Business Tech Talks" Crucial Conversations Book Discussion Chapter 6 Part 1



Major Talking Points: 1) How To Gain Control 2) Skills for Mastering Our Stories 3) Analyze Your Story

Segment One How to Gain Control
Take charge of your emotions-exert your will over your feelings -Others don't make you mad, you do. Once you create your emotion, either you can act on it or be acted on by it.
We tell Stories: The Step Between what others do and how we feel-Before we feel we create a story to add meaningHappens quick when we believve our safety is as risk EX. Do you become angry everytime someone laughs at you?
-Take Control of Story so it won't control us.

Segment Two:Skills for Mastering Our Stories:
-Slow Down and Retrace Path to Action-Stop what you're doing -figure out why you're feeling or doing what you are.
-Retrace your Path: "Act"-notice behavior-Silence or Violence. "Feel" what emotions are cuasing actions "Tell" analyze your story-what is creating the eotion "See/Hear" Find the facts. -Take an Honest Look at what is causing the emotions.
-Become more emotionally literate: more specific about how yo feel. EX: instead of "upset" "frustrated, embarrassed,"

Segment Three: "Stories create feelings" Analyze Your Stories

"What are our stories? they are our interpretations of the facts they help explain what we see in here there's a theories we use to explain why how and what."

Question your feelings and stories. *A Story identifies what you're feeling. Must stop and analzye is it the right feeling.

"He made me mad," statement: "The step between what others do and how we feel. Make sure story is accurate. *Hardest Step: regaining emotional control challenging the illusion what you're feeling is the only "right" feeling.
Separate fact from feelings/story by focusing on behavior

Conclusion: How to stay in dialogue when you're angry scared or hurt, part 1: Must regain control of emotions, change the stories we tell ourselves, realize how fast we tell ourselves a story based off the emotions. Slow down, analyze and identify what is accurate facts based on behavior

*Preview for part 2 "why we tell clever stories?" They match reality. Sometimes the stories we tell are accurate. The other person is trying to cause us harm, we are innocent victims or maybe we really can't do much about the problem, it can happen..." page 109

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