"This is a man's world," pops into my head a lot. I had often wondered why God even made females. Masculine pronouns describe the deity. Angels are masculine and found earthly women appealing, taking them as wives. Women are given guidelines on how they're expected to dress while men appear exempt. It's rare women are mentioned or addressed to in the Psalms. Psalm 148: 12 states: "Both young men and maidens." Oftentimes, during those periods of history women were at the mercy of their husbands. Reading Levitical laws will reveal this bias. Stories from Genesis and other Old Testament writings give several examples of this theme. The story of Lot offering his daughters to protect the angelic male spies, concubine offered to mob of men in Judges. And how many wives did kings acquire, plus concubines? This has upset me for years, plus the fact that more can be shared on this topic. But for now, let's consider, "Was all of this treatment simply Possessive Obsession or was it Protective Patriarchy?"
It's extremely difficult to put our modern day selves into ancient perspectives. Just because someone is a male it should not allow them to get away whatever they want, but that appears to be the common theme. I think it's a safe bet to make that claim. We also have to consider, just because we're seeing, and reading, and hearing such negativity, it does not mean that the standard and principles are incorrect. One must consider: have you ever entered a new job, saw the dysfunction and chaos, then studied the training material and realized no one was following the rules and that's why there was so much chaos and confusion? I believe, that's kinda how the world has been operating. It's also worth noting, a lot of things were written down and recorded as law, but we don't know how much was actually practiced or administered. We also don't hear many of the positive stories where things were done right. How can we say it doesn't work if people are not trying to make it work? We will have to go back to the origin story. What were we supposed to be doing? What was intended for us?
So When we ask the question: If a man wants his wife to dress modest, is it because he wants to control her, keep her for himself like an object? Or is it for her protection from people who don't value her with the desire to use her physical form in objectifying ways? It's written in scripture. Men, though are instructed not to look at a woman in lustful ways. In certain religious groups, women are required to cover up completely, and in others only allowed to wear loose fitting clothing. How much of it is control by men who lack their own ability to control their sexual urges and temptations vs an honorable perspective where it is to protect the female from being objectified and seen as nothing more than an object for sexual gratification? It's so confusing from a female's perspective understanding these concepts and the making sense of the mistreatment of women over the course of history. I'm reminded of a quote from the film Stonehearst Asylum where the female lead laments that she is not some object to be possessed. The male responds, "It's yout that possesses me." I was not expecting that. I cannot fathom how a man really feels. Proverbs 30:18-19 stands out to me: "18 There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Yes, four which I do not understand:19 The way of an eagle in the air, The way of a serpent on a rock ,The way of a ship in the 4midst of the sea, And the way of a man with a virgin. " Having a virgin is preferable and noted in history of men taking off with younger women, kings with their harems, virgin daughters offered to mobs of men for protection. Since I cannot fathom these "wonderful things" and understand the mindset of a man (whether they're trying to protect or control) I am simply reliant on original intent.
What did God intend for men and women? I have a theory in The Genesis of Man and Women, and in Proverbs it's also expressed, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing." The order of creation. God made man then woman. The same reason they did not initially ordain females. Women were supposed to be served and ministered to. We often hear the bad stories, very rarely do we hear the relationships that did work. Women staying home, protected and preserved, valued and honored. We also neglect to consider how God the Father and Jesus perceived women. God did not want to use man's corrupt seed when He chose Mary. Luke 8:1-3 describes the women Jesus healed and also the women that catered to Him. Many women were focused on family and loved ones, not focused on attention or getting credit or recognition, quiet and humble in their position under the protective watchful eye of their husband.
Realistically, though, we still need to weigh the options of being out in the world where men can easily take mental, or verbal, or physical abuse vs the abuse that can happen within the home at the hands of a husband with the objectification and control mentality. Depending on the era your landed in, the option and chances of an alternative were limited to none. But like the options are limited, so is this life.
I imagine earth like a dysfunctional workplace environment where everyone neglected to read the training material. The ten commandments were tossed and everyone is doing their own thing while the managers sit on the sidelines and watch. If you've worked with people, you understand the dynamic.
There's no positive happy inspirational closing message. Weigh your options. How do you perceive it? What would you rather? Ladies, are you being obsessively possessed or patriarchally protected? Are men the possessive ones or are the females the ones that possess them?
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